Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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