He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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