Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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