We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
