Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
