True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
