It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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