I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
