just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
