Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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