Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
