She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
