Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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