Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
