I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
