He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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