she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
