so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
