Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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