Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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