Sry I called you an 8
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
