Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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