I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
