HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
