and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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