I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
