I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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