Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
