Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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