There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
