Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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