What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
