Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
