and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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