maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
