our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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