At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
