Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
