This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
