well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
