Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
