but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
