I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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