I heard we made out
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
