It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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