Can i not drive my cunt home
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
