its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
