And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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