he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
i need some magic done to my vagina
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
