So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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