im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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